August 9th

The quest continues. My chocolate croissant at the Interactive Cafe on Broadway and 3rd is very good but not amazing. Its flakier than the Conservatory's, which is a good thing, but also greasier. This one is more suited for biting into whereas the Conservatory's really begs to be picked apart and eaten slwly. But they warm them up here which is nice.
This cafe is down the street from a youth hostel and is the best place to people watch. In LA, no one is a local. But I feel like a local. Everyone is out of place in LA. Everyone watches everyone else and tries to be more like them- never content with themselves. In New York, everyone fits in. They watch everyone else and try to accentuate themselves, be more individual than anyone else. People walk like they own the streets. LA is all about distractions. The more I stop and look around at people, the less I feel I fit in and can relate to anyone. I watch people and wonder what they do with their lives, when they sit alone, what do they think about? Where are they going? and how do they feel about that purchase they just made- flaunted by their Forever 21 bag. There are a lot of sephora bags too- what about their face isnt good enough?
A man in front of me dropped some papers and a girl behind bent to pick them up. The friend by her side with a molded smile of self awareness, deciding what to do with her hands and choosing to let them awkwardly hang, thankful when her friend begins to walk again. It takes a strong person to press the button at the cross2walk and wait, holding nothing, with arms by their sides. Ive always been one of those people, but recently Ive become aware of myself. I look at my stomach in the mirror in the morning and wish my boobs were bigger. I wish I had skills that I see in others and I wish my interents were unambiguous and defined. I always slightly feel regret for everything I won and everything new that I buy.

Its really amazing how many people are just beautiful. And its even more amazing how few of them see that.

The barista just came out and swept up my empty plate and cup. I think that means that its time for me to go. Theres a man sitting next to me, doing the same thing. Sitting and watching everyone go by- not concernet about time and watching as though no one can watch back. I want to talk to him but I dont want to move my mouth and I think if I said something it would ruin it. I wonder if people think things like this about me. I fall a little bit in love with everyone I see. Every person that walks by changes my outlook on the world and forces me to love humanity a little more. If you watch for long enough, your world is turned upside down. and youre dizzy when you stand up and I forgot where I locked my bike. And thats not just because its way past lunch and I havent eaten.