Stoking this Fire

I scroll up and down a message you sent to me, for the third time. An email. How ridiculous. Looking up and down, admiring the spaces in between your words, measuring this one and comparing it to the next, your phrases, like I'm somehow caressing your back and your body by perusing these typed words. Looking for a way to find something more in this. To maybe turn it sideways as if some extra words will be hidden in a corner, feeling a freckle on your already perfect body that I haven't felt before, skimming my body down yours like if we keep moving, we'll keep growing closer into each other- exploring more and more, little cracks in.

My general concept of life- my religion, so to speak- although it's almost an anti-religion- a belief in a super-natural as opposed to a supra-natural- is, simply, “water flows downhill”. The world is in a constant process of melting and flowing into the cracks, oozing slowly, sloughing off and falling away, moving beautifully around the obstacles, blessing everything it collides with and rolls lazily off of, with this relinquish. This melting matrimony, powerless but irrevocable, swept up to fall down and regrow, regenerate. But you, my love, without even trying, I'm swept up and off my little world. Yet more connected than ever. My relinquishing this time has floated me up, lifted me up. By no means of my own, beyond means of my own, I've broken laws and my stream flows uphill, encircling itself, each other for the first time, growing closer and closer, forming compounds that never were before. This makes so much sense, redefining physics my dear, I had no idea.

These rules don't apply and now, just glimpsing this precipice of godly resignation, this completed, fully fulfilled striving, a striving to get inside through you, to access something through you, with you- my rubbing, my wrestling, this gliding towards each other- to get inside, to join, to fit and consummate... something. This pulsating exploration, my loving you, feeling you, this blissful blissful struggle as you hold my hands behind my head to come into me, contorting to find a closer way to hold me- I'll give myself to you completely, my love. I trust you beyond everything. I trust some part of you that you probably don't even see. That speaks my language on such a level, it's nothing even visible, just a shuffling under my feet, rooting me stronger, a sweet little jostling, holding me closer.

Who knew, rocks, the rubbing of two rocks, of two separate elements, would make this fire and heat us both. To heat the space in between. That quivering space- that I peruse, shake and test, explore around. This space we can caress but not overcome- heats us- it feeds us, heats us both- palpating divine, my love. Stay with me. Please stay with me. Keep stoking this fire.